Blaine and Kurt
by jeviennis
Summary: Blaine and Kurt lose touch after breaking up, but they don't forget.


Blaine and Kurt

_"For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are those 'It might have been.'"_

_Blaine and Kurt_ is how everyone knew them, how everyone referred to them in a conversation, and for nineteen months that's how they were. But then as Kurt went away and the lines tying them together pulled tight and began to fray, it became less about _Blaine and Kurt_ and more about _Blaine _and _Kurt. _The webcam dates got shorter and more awkward, the _I love you_ at the end of the texts became a plea for reassurance and the lyrics to Teenage Dream hurt more than they soothed.

It's almost inevitable when Kurt looks at Blaine through the camera of his laptop and shakes his head softly. Blaine's almost been expecting it.

"_We can't do this, Blaine."_

Of course, that doesn't make it hurt any less.

* * *

><p>In the weeks that follow, Blaine begins to piece himself back together, bit by bit. Up in New York, Kurt does the same, until they're both finally almost whole men again. Neither of them text one another because they don't want to jeopardise the so very nearly perfect exteriors that they've just finished polishing; they don't talk because to break the ice is to break the armour. Blaine invests himself in glee club, taking Finn's role and making sure that every song they sing relates to Kurt in <em>no way, shape or form, nope, <em>and Kurt's NYADA course lets him play characters that love and lose in a way that is _absolutely not similar to him_. Their Facebook statuses update, their relationship is still 'single' for the both of them and their inboxes get incredibly lonely without one another.

They don't talk because they still love each other, they just don't know how to fix it.

The one thing that neither of them can do, though, is change their profile picture. They both have the same photo of the two of them on Christmas Day by a frozen lake, skates hanging from hands, arms round waists and beams on faces. Kurt uses it as a defence, a fire escape in dire emergencies, when an attractive man says _sorry, I didn't know you had a boyfriend_ and Kurt doesn't correct him. Blaine just stares at the picture, imagining what went wrong, how those smiles could ever have been wiped from their faces. With a jolt, he realises that he hasn't smiled that big in months.

It only changes when Puck gets drunk at a fancy dress party and steals Blaine's phone, uploading a picture of the two of them wearing army camouflage and pouting ludicrously. When Kurt next checks Blaine's profile, which _isn't every day at 3pm because he doesn't stalk people_ and sees that the photo is changed, a little bit of his heart drops because to him, that ever remaining photo was the last glimpse of hope that Blaine still loved him and that maybe, just maybe, they could have worked things out.

Two days later, Kurt's picture changes to an ensemble photo of his NYADA class and Blaine cries quietly, alone in his room.

* * *

><p>Six months after they break up, Kurt goes on a date with a man he met in a bookstore in the city. His name is Josh, and Kurt refuses to believe that he's going on out to dinner with him because he's a little bit shorter and has dark hair. But as they sit in a booth and Josh mindlessly chatters about how <em>zoology is an underrated field of research<em>, all Kurt can think about is that his eyes would look so much nicer if they were hazel and _god he needs to tame his hair_ and starts thinking of gel brands that work on extra curly fringes.

When Josh mentions that bow ties are tacky and Kurt feels a stab of annoyance, he knows that this date was never going to go swimmingly.

At the same time, Blaine watches a sophomore sing 'Don't Cry For Me, Argentina' as an audition piece for glee, and while it's perfectly adequate and pleasant and has everybody clapping, he's thinking that _the song is so much more suited for countertenors _and comes up with 100 people who could sing it better, although strangely their names all begin with K. But the girl – whose name doesn't begin with K – did pretty well, so he pulls out his toothpaste ad smile and nods politely while Mr Schuester fawns all over her like she's the new Rachel Berry but not the new Kurt Hummel, _never the new Kurt Hummel._

Several musical numbers that left him cringing and two months later, Blaine is being harassed into picking a school to attend in the fall, and he's avoiding like the plague because turning around to his parents and saying _no, I don't think I will apply to New York _after he changed school for the boy he lovedis not only the most embarrassing thing ever, but also means that he really does have no hope at seeing Kurt again. On the surface, he thinks that it's probably good because then he'll be able to fully get over him and move on with his life, right?

The squirm of fear and excitement that he gets when his mom turns around and tells him that NYU has an excellent music education program, and _I know that's where you want to be really _says otherwise.

Back in the world of emoticons and abbreviations, Kurt watches as all the seniors update with _applying to New York, wish me luck _and _so scared for my college applications _and wishes that Blaine will update soon, because even if they haven't spoken in 8 months he'll be damned if he doesn't pray every night that Blaine will come to New York and they'll work everything out and spend next Valentine's Day having lazy sex and drinking coffee like they used to fantasize about.

Which is why Blaine's status is a fucking great kick in the crotch.

_Got into UCLA for music education, oh my god!_

Oh.

* * *

><p>Blaine counts down the days until he starts at college and so does Kurt. They both sit on their beds, staring at the calendars on their walls, and while Blaine is super excited because after <em>so long <em>he's finally getting away, he can't help but wish he was getting away to New York because New York means Kurt, and Kurt means _I love you _and _let's make this work _and UCLA means a 24 hour drive and _I'm moving on,_ and after all of the strapping on a pair and getting over it that he tried to do, Blaine isn't even sure if he wants to get over Kurt.

He couldn't anyway, because 18 hours before Blaine is due to get on his flight to take him to his new life, Kurt calls him for the first time in almost ten months.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Congratulations on getting into UCLA. You're gonna do brilliant."

"Thank you. How is NYADA going?"

"Really good. Rachel says hi."

It's awful and stunted and awkward, but it's beautiful because it's Kurt and _my god_ Blaine's missed that voice, and on the other side of the phone Kurt's thinking the exact same thing.

There's silence for a minute and Kurt wonders whether the line has gone dead, but in reality Blaine is steeling himself to say what he's wanted to say for ten months because he's going to LA so _why the hell shouldn't he?_

"I miss you."

Kurt's reply is breathy and almost instantaneous.

"I miss you too."

And then Blaine's mom is calling him and Kurt's muttering that he's got work to do, and it's all going to be over too quickly and Blaine doesn't want to spoil what they just shared so he says the only thing he thinks he can, the only thing that he hopes will keep Kurt interested.

"Please call me again."

Just before Blaine hangs up because his mother is bursting blood vessels trying to get him downstairs, he hears Kurt breathe in sharply and reply in a whisper.

"I will, I promise."

* * *

><p>December sees Blaine fully settled into college life, parties and late night essays galore, but he's not completely happy because Kurt hasn't called him back. And Kurt promised he would. So one night when he gets particularly smashed while dressed as an elf, he rings Kurt's mobile number and waits impatiently under some mistletoe which <em>couldn't have been put in a worse place, thank you very much. <em>

"Hello?"

"You said you would call me back and you didn't and I don't know why because you promised and you never broke promises before and-"

"-Blaine?"

"Yes?"

"Are you drunk?"

"Nu-uh. Just mad at you for not calling me at Christmas, and I'm calling you now because I want you to know that I didn't mean to change that photo of us at the lake last Christmas because it was Puck and not me, and that is still my favourite photo and probably will be forever."

"Get some sleep, Blaine."

"Kurt-"

"-Blaine, you need to go to bed. Good night."

Kurt has to stop himself from adding a 'honey' on the end like they used to when they'd ring each other up before bed and whisper disgustingly cheesy declarations of love down the phone. On the other end, he can hear Blaine sniff and it sounds like he's crying and _oh god, I never want to make you cry, _but there's nothing he can do because he's in New York and Blaine's in LA.

"Merry Christmas Kurt."

"Blaine?"

"Yes?"

"It's my favourite photo too."

The next morning, Blaine wakes up to a pounding headache and a text from Kurt.

_Take two aspirins and go back to bed. Merry Christmas, Blaine._

* * *

><p>It's May before a guy actually hits on Blaine, and while this guy is hot, his taste in fashion is shockingly average and his eyes aren't quite grey enough to really pull him. But still, Blaine says yes because it's been around eight months since he started UCLA and he hasn't been on one date, so this is actually a bit of an ego boost. When this guy introduces himself as Kyle and Blaine's insides squirm unpleasantly, he starts to wish he'd just put up with the low self-esteem because he's pretty sure that this can only end badly.<p>

He's wrong.

From the second that the first illegally purchased beer hits the back of his throat – because they are both still underage, after all – Kyle turns into Blaine's therapist as he spills every single detail of his life, and in his rant is a 30 minute break down of why exactly he still loves Kurt, what he'd do if things could go back to how they were and how _it can't be possible to miss someone so much, can it?_

Kyle, bless his soul, swallows down the disappointment and instead tells Blaine what someone should have kicked into both him and Kurt the second they thought that they wouldn't get past it.

"If you want something, you have to work for it."

Blaine stares at him like he's a blind man seeing the first cracks of sunlight through his eyelids and his heart pounds painfully in his chest as he realises that _god, I've been a dick _and they've been so distant when they should have been trying harder and this all needs to be rectified _now, because I will not lose him again._

A week later and Blaine's request to transfer is filed. The day after, he sends Kurt a text.

_I'm transferring to Columbia. I can't do this._

Kurt doesn't reply, but only because he's frozen in shock and something akin to joy as he stares at his mobile's tiny screen.

* * *

><p>Kurt finally works up the nerve to call Blaine a week later, when he's sure that his heart won't palpitate at any given moment and he thinks he'll be able to make a noise that doesn't sound like a woodland creature. Blaine's been sitting with his gaze going from his work to his phone and he's wondering if he's made a mistake because <em>what if Kurt's freaked out or what if he's with another guy <em>and Blaine doesn't know if he can cope with being around that. When he sees Kurt's name on the caller ID he lets out a sob of relief, because everything they can be hinges on this.

"Are you really transferring?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

Blaine hesitates before thinking _fuck it_ and he just lets himself go.

"Because from the moment we broke up it felt like the worst decision of my life, and I've tried so hard to move on since then, but I can't. And I'm not a wreck, I'm doing okay, but I don't just want to be okay, Kurt, I want to be amazing like I was with you and I'm not going to get that if I can't be with you, because I'm still so in love with you that it's actually painful to think about you, and I can still smell you and feel you and hear you and see you and I just – _god, _Kurt, I just need that to be real again."

There's silence, and Blaine starts to cry because it was too much, he knows it.

"Don't cry, please don't cry."

"Why not?"

"Because I never want to hear you cry over me ever again."

"Kurt-"

"I love you, Blaine."

For the first time in over a year, they both feel like their wings have been unclipped and they've been allowed to fly.

* * *

><p>Kurt starts looking for a place for Blaine to stay long before Blaine does, and it occurs to him that the apartment he shares with Rachel will conveniently have a free bedroom once their roommate moves out, so he sends a text to Blaine – texts that have been getting more frequent so that they're talking almost daily, which makes both of them as giddy as they were in the first few months of their relationship – casually mentioning that there's a room available, but leaving out the part where he hopes they won't have to sleep separately until they're a little more comfortable.<p>

Blaine's reply lights up his phone before he's had a chance to lock it again.

_Are you serious? That would be perfect, Kurt._

Kurt replies and hits 'send' without even registering what he's written.

_I want you here with me._

And just as he's about to facepalm harder than ever before, Blaine responds.

_I want me there as well._

* * *

><p>The leaves on the trees have gone a burnt crimson colour, there's a nip in the air and Kurt's staring out the window of his apartment as he waits for Blaine's to get there. Rachel decided to pick up Blaine because she didn't know if Kurt was able to refrain from throwing himself into Blaine's arms like a badly produced rom-com, which would make things decidedly awkward, so Kurt's been stalking around the flat all day. Today's when it all changes and he doesn't know if he's going to cry or vomit, so he settles on nearly doing both at the same time before mentally berating himself on his lunacy and resuming his gazing.<p>

At around 5 'o' clock, there's the sound of a key scraping in a lock – they really need to oil that door – and Kurt's heart leaps into his mouth.

As Blaine walks through the door, he thinks he might pass out because _fucking hell, Blaine is still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen _and he's aware that his jaw his probably on the floor and his eyes are watering, but he can't even bring himself to move, he's just drinking Blaine in again. His hair is still curly, free from gel and looking beautiful, his skin is still flawless, his physique is still the right combination of delectable and adorable and his eyes are still Kurt's favourite colour and the windows to his soul.

They both stare for a while, before Blaine lowers his head with a tiny, shy smile pulling on his lips and looks up through his lashes at Kurt, making his heart stop like it had so many times before.

"Hi."

And Kurt's aware that he probably looks like a crazy person, standing there with his mouth open but pulled into a smile and his eyes bugging out of a skull, so he decides to be crazy for a second and walks over to where Blaine stands and puts his arms around his neck, putting his head on Blaine's shoulder. It takes a second for Blaine's mind to process what's happening, but then he realises that there's no reason why this shouldn't happen and _I want to be happy again, _so he locks his arms around the middle of Kurt's back and pulls him in tighter than they've ever held each other before. They sway on the spot slightly, grappling gently for purchase as if they're both trying to memorise the feel of one another again, and Blaine smells like cinnamon and Kurt smells like elderflower and neither of them have felt so at home in well over a year.

* * *

><p>"I told you that you'd end up here, didn't I?"<p>

Kurt looks up from where he's sitting at the end of the dining table, grinning lightly to himself, to see Blaine studying him with an adoring glint in his eye.

"Yeah, you did."

"We were sitting in my car at the bottom of a muddy hill with an awesome view of the sunset and I told you that you were going to do everything you ever dreamed of."

Blaine pulls out the chair next to him and plonks himself down unceremoniously with a little puff of air, before putting an elbow on the table and angling his face towards Kurt's. The two of them stare at each other for a minute, the rest of the apartment silent while Rachel takes a nap, and the air between them crackles and fizzes with tension and tenderness while they smile at one another.

When Kurt breaks the quiet, it's nothing more than a whisper but it's all Blaine needs.

"I missed you so much."

Blaine breathes in and his gaze flickers from Kurt's eyes down to his lips repeatedly, like he can't quite believe it's happening, before he leans in slowly and catches Kurt's bottom lip gently between his teeth while one hand slides from his lap into Kurt's hair, which _is still as soft as it was before_ and pulls him even closer. Kurt lays his hand on Blaine's waist and locks their lips together, and if everything Finn ever told him about fireworks is true, it's only because there's thousands of them exploding in his stomach and _dear god, I don't think I've been this happy for a long time_. And then Blaine is bringing him in closer, his other hand going to the small of Kurt's back and they both stand up as the kiss becomes more fervent, breathing heavily and gasping for air in between kisses.

They stand there for a while before Kurt breaks away from the embrace and takes Blaine's hand, leading him towards his bedroom and Blaine's head starts screaming _too soon, too soon, _but instead of trying to remove his shirt, Kurt just lays on his bed and closes his eyes, one arm thrown over the pillow. It takes Blaine less than a split second to realise that he's mimicking the way they used to lay before they fucked everything up, and another second longer to crawl alongside and curl into him.

* * *

><p>Weeks and months go by and the two of them go slowly, building themselves to be stronger than they were before, to make it work and make it last.<p>

The day that they're all out for lunch and Rachel calls them _Blaine and Kurt _on the phone, they look over at each other and smile and they know that they'll get back to that and they'll be happier for it.

_"What's meant to be will always find a way."_


End file.
